Online dating and flirting tips

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Experimental improvement in twitter behaviour

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Some people collect spores, moulds and fungus, I collect online behaviour.

I’m fascinated how user behaviour changes as soon as they are presented with easy to use software tools, something to talk about and an audience. Something happens when users are divorced from the people they are communicating with, foregoing eons of learned behaviour and restraint and the results can be pretty nasty.

So the question I asked myself is, "what kind of approach can I use to improve communication" among technologically disconnected users? So I tried a very simple experiment. It wasn’t scientific by any means, but it did illustrate a concept that is normally associated with people the off-line world and body language. Now you might ask yourself. "how do you apply body language techniques to a textual medium?" Well I wasn’t sure myself so after reading a very short article on communication [0] and adopt the ideas to twitter messages just as I might to a person face to face.

The problem
I have been using twitter for a long time now, since 2006 and as the number and diversity of users has increased I have adapted the way I follow the steady stream of information from users. I no longer follow users directly, instead I have created lists and sort interesting people on twitter into these lists. Simple enough but it goes against the standard usage pattern most people associate with following. So if a user suddenly appears on one of my lists they might be confused why? What do you do? Ignore them, try to explain your twitter usage optimisation techniques in multiple 140 character messages?

The experiment
Having just added a twitter user to a number of lists I received a message from a user asking why they had not been followed but added to a list? Of course this is how I add users. It allows me to thin-slice people by the groups I assign them to. But to a user who knows nothing about this it is just plain confusing. So I decided to follow the simple ideas of observation, effective communication, "comfort dividend" and "move to action" [1] to see if they work with a twitter user who I’ve never interacted with before. You can see the results below.
Results

1. Observation The twitter user is confused and cannot understand what I’m doing and decides to CC another twitter to clarify what is going on. I observe this confusion.

2. Observation The twitter user is still confused and I recognise that effective communication is needed to help the user understand what I’m trying to achieve.

3. Observation The CC’d twitter user tries to explain what is going on. Again I recognise effective communication is required.

4. CommunicateI try to explain as clearly what I’m trying to achieve.

5. Move to action, Comfort I recognise the user is still uneasy with not being listed but not followed. Instead of waiting for the user to ask me directly, I automatically follow the user and acknowledge the twitter user I know.

6. Outcome> Twitter user now understands what I’m trying to achieve and appreciates my follow without direct prompting.

This was an interesting little experiment. Too often with social networks, an effective outcome is mishandled because the technology gets in the way. I’ll be trying this simple approach to other areas of confusion to see if I get similar results. Of course this is a very simple example where each party

Reference
[0] Joe Navarro, "Four Small Things You Can Do To Be An Exceptional Communicator"
[Accessed Friday, 21st May 2010]
http://scloho1.blogspot.com/2010/03/tips-from-fbi.html

[1] Joe Navarro, "Four Small Things You Can Do To Be An Exceptional Communicator",Each of these concepts are discussed in the article, Ibid.

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3 Body Language Tips to See If She Is Flirting With You

Flirting is the art of keeping intimacy at a safe distance.  It is one of the best things that might happen to us as we grow older. All human beings are flirts I should say, but some are restrained by their shyness and others are by their sense, and most of them are the sensitive ones, the women.

Someone told me that “Woman flirtation is an attention without intention”, a really short quote but a true one. You cannot tell if a woman is flirting with you unless you will pay attention to her body languages, and her non-verbal gestures. So, before concluding and initiating a move, you need to observe if she does the following flirt body gestures:

Hair touching and stroking

Women who flirt almost always do the hair touching and stroking. Why? Because it is the richest adornment of women. No wonder why they tend to spend a lot in salons and hair products because with it, they find their confidence. Also, hair flipping highlights a woman’s femininity and grace—another major attraction factor for Men. So when a girl tends to do such gestures as twirling the ends of their hair or semi-combing it while looking at you, it’s a great sign that she is interested and is trying to seduce you in an alluring way.

Physical contact, Light touches

One of the most important aspects of flirting is to be able to have physical contact with your new woman and have her enjoy, and it also does back to them, a vise-versa for women. It provides a gateway for men to understand women’s interaction better.  So when a woman tries to hold your hand or just touching accidentally your finger or whatsoever, it indicate a thing, she likes you and interested with you. This is an excellent use of body language to show you that she really likes you.

Legs showing and emphasizing

Leg is asset that women have. It is one tool to persuade men and have total domination over them. Are you familiar with the scenario that a girl’s leg is shown at a corner to draw a man closer? True enough the man would follow the girl’s leg like a drooling dog over a piece of bone. Such analogy is, in fact, true in real life. A girl’s most effective flirting tools are her legs. One can easily learn a lot about a particular woman and how comfortable she is with you by the way she positions her legs.

Being aware of flirting body language signs helps you determine the right move to make. When you want to attract a potential love interest, these subtle hints can come quite in handy, too!

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